A shiny red thing

A flash of bright red caught my eye through all the weeds.

My first thought: Now what the heck did I leave over by the spinach. My second thought: Wasn't the older brother working with his Daddy out here yesterday? What the heck did he leave out here. Must be a plastic sandbox toy.

He left his ten-inch-long piece of PVC pipe culvert out in the yard last week. Our grass grows freakishly fast. It disappeared underneath the jungle and his Daddy inadvertently blasted it to smithereens when he mowed.

It was not a good day. The older brother mournfully gathered up the plastic shrapnel that remained and left it in a respectful pile by our house. He is not only a plumber. He's also the Road Superintendent of miniature towns built around our yard.

I thought perhaps it was a good lesson though. You know, on leaving things lying about the yard.

And then my dear husband admonished me for abandoning a metal electric fence post in the garden corral. It was on it's side in the grass. The mower actually chewed that thing in half and tossed it aside like a toothpick.

I swear, I did not leave it out there. And for the record... he also mowed off the top of our metal ratchet sprinkler and then questioned the boys as to who broke the dumb thing.

Ah, yes. The shiny red object that caught my eye? It was only this.



Swiss Chard. So beautiful. So tempting to grab a handful and...

I can see them over by the barn. I'm giddy as I look for a poo-and-thistle-free area to flop myself down under our orchard (I'll call it whatever I want, regardless of what it looks like). They eyeball me, weighing whether the lure in my hand is worth the trip across the yard.

I hold my breath... waiting for them to run me over.



Then suddenly, the thundering stampede. They're of one mind, once one of them finally makes the decision. A herd of tiny Tyranasaurus race out of the black entrance of their lair, feet pounding the earth, bodies swaying from side to side.

But they're suspicious. What if I'm trying to poison them!



For your own good, Kim, look away. The last time I did this you said I broke your Chard lovin' heart.



They're hypnotized by the sweet prize. Is this a dream? Is it edible?



The insatiable reptiles rip their meal to shreds. It's a vicious attack, the kind of thing that is fascinating but horrifying to watch. Lightening fast, with precisely aimed strikes.

The Chard has no chance.



For a moment, I imagine them the size of a large carnivorous dinosaur. Pretty sure the T-Rex in Jurassic Park was modeled after a chicken.



Then again, I have small children.

Let's not go there.



KinderGARDENS week 12