Fashionable hens

I wrote this a few months ago as a guest post for another site. The lady I handed it to has had her world turned upside down, so while the guest post may not actually happen, I thought I would share it here anyway. Please excuse the crappy pictures. And, you can find my original post on this same topic HERE (it's one of my all-time favorites).



I have a problem. Several, actually... but let's not go there. Not today.

I have a Buff Orpington rooster, who just happens to be a rather handsome fellow. He has a number of jobs here on The Old Nichols Farm, and he does them well. Very well, in fact.



Red adds atmosphere to our farm, sings the praises of each and every day, protects and provides for his ladies, and generally marches his Royal Highness around like he owns the place. He also, ummm... gifts his hens with what they need in order to lay fertile eggs.

He takes every single one of these jobs very seriously. You would too, if you were king.

But, as those of you who share space with a rooster already know, he is a trouble maker. A royal thorn in my side, to be exact. Luckily, Red has a few things going in his favor. At the moment his good attributes outweigh the bad, and anyway, I can't find my axe.

Red is endlessly enthusiastic about one job in particular. He likes his ladies. Very much. He's got his favorites too, which doesn't help matters any.



You notice the missing feathers on her back?

Yes, I do have a problem.



Chickens can get sunburned. Who knew?

Summer is the least of my worries for these naked hens of mine. Out here on the prairie, winter is coming. It's not negotiable. It won't be fun. When the thermometer hits minus 20 Fahrenheit, I throw my hands up in defeat, plug in the heat lamp in the coop, and pray that I don't end up burning the whole barn down.

Colder that that? Yeah, it happens.

I chose these breeds (Buff Orpington and Barred Rock) for a number of reasons, but the most important was cold-hardiness. Oh. Oh, my. Oh my poor, poor, naked hens.



I've been restricting the amount of time Red spends with them, but it makes everyone so grumpy. I think he just makes up for the lost time by getting extra busy when he is with them.

I could always turn him into chicken soup (the axe has got to be here somewhere), but I like having him around more than I care to admit. I was nearly in a panic the other day when I thought we'd lost him.

I've weighed my options. There is only one thing to do.

Time to saddle these girls up!

Sadly, this isn't our first rodeo. Last fall I used fleece. The girls need more hefty coverage this time around. I honestly can't believe how many feathers Red has ripped out stomping around on their backs.

I went searching for a few items: leftover snake-skin patterned (seriously) fleece, my favorite pair of jeans that just happen to have a hole across the butt cheek (no I'd rather not talk about it), and the pattern for the size and shape of saddle that seemed to work best last year (it took a few tries).

I couldn't find the snakeskin fleece, which totally ruins my story.



We're going with white flannel instead.

Now this is highly technical. Try to stay with me.

Flannel on the bottom for comfort, rugged denim on the top for protection from overzealous claws and sharp spurs. Two teardrop shaped holes for wings. A slit at the back for the tail.



Approximately nine and a half inches each way.

As I began to sew the two layers together I had a thought. Romeo was going to get his toes caught in the stitching and Lord have mercy, then I would have a real circus on my hands. So I only stitched across the front side.

Embellishment optional. I couldn't help myself.



Now for a test drive.



New clothes usually feel odd at first. But a few minutes later she was back to scratching around the yard.

Fleece is stretchy. Denim and flannel? Not so much. I should have made the holes just a bit longer.



I haven't specifically seen it in action yet, but I think this will work.

Now if I could just get these girls to stop leaving their eggs in the doghouse...