My helper

By default, she's my helper. Sometimes this works better than other times. Sometimes it doesn't work at all. And sometimes, the universe interacts with her in ways that just boggles my mind.

Our local K-Mart is closing, which is a sad thing because it means Mal-Wart wins.

So we went. Just to see what was left, and we found some foam swords. Foam swords! Thus commenced a great battle in the summer-fun aisle. Me and her, with much giggling and squealing on her part, to the great delight of all kinds of old ladies meandering past with their shopping carts. I'm sort of disappointed none of them grabbed a sword to join us.

Then I got distracted by a blow-up bounce house for small kidlings, because I often wish I had a padded room to toss that girl into. It would be good for both her and me, actually. On clearance it was still a ridiculous $200. But you know, I have a job now and so it was slightly tempting anyway. While I was deep in thought imagining how cool it would be to throw her into such a contraption for half an hour, and the great many things I might be able to get done, and how it could perhaps be worth almost $200...

That was when it happened.

"Ka-WHOMP"

The girl? She'd been bravely swinging her sword up and down the aisle like any good warrior.

And she'd been captured.

By a stack of 9 evil plastic pools.



And what did she say?

"It's dark in here"



Looking for the Simple Moments with my friend Brooke. "simple moments is about finding the small things that make up our everyday, things we want to remember and be thankful for. it's the little bits of our lives that might not be remembered when we are gray and old. so we document it, on paper, with a photo, through a blog"

Our buggy 4th

We brought our collection of Red Admiral chrysalises to the lake:
a. to keep the kids entertained on the three-hour drive.
b. because I heard it was the cool new thing to do.
c. to show my Dad the evidence that I had identified the caterpillars wrong. (oh, the shame... they're Red Admirals, not Buckeyes)
d. because I was too chicken to ask my neighbor to babysit them for me after I'd already asked him to keep an eye on my chickens, and you certainly can't have butterflies flitting around the house unsupervised.

e. all of the above.

The Bean was ecstatic about:
a. Daddy and you and me and the boys and me and you and Daddy going to the lake? And Daddy? And ALL of us!!!
b. stealing tomatoes.
c. helping her Mom get an abandoned Project 52 back on track.
d. fishing during the day...

and at night...

e. all except choice "c", of course.

The boys found a toad that:
a. peed a lot!

b. made them laugh and squeal and climb up a cliff and run ALL the way back up the hill to show the Grandmas in the cabin.
c. did not amuse the Grandmas.
d. was gigantic! (at least by North Dakota standards)
e. ALL of the above.

The porch was a great place to find:
a. Great Grandpa Gus talking in German!
b. bare feet.
c. numerous Mayflies that stuck like velcro anywhere we put them!

d. a rogue cactus, which ended up stuck in someone's poor little foot!?
e. all of the above.

Perhaps the best part of shooting off fireworks when we got home was:
a. The Bean's very first sparkler!

b. scaring the living daylights out of our curious chickens with that first "boom".
c. Daddy tossing a firecracker into the septic tank.
d. playing with fire and making smoke.

e. every single bit of it.

This "4th of July Week" multiple choice fun is brought to you:
a. at least a few days too late.
b. just to freshen up this crusty old moldy lonely blog.
c. for the third time, which officially makes it an annual tradition. (2011 and 2010)
d. by a procrastinating Mom who should be doing dishes and folding laundry.
e. all of the (cough, cough) above.

Meeting Colleen

Alternately titled: The day I wanted to smack a complete stranger upside the head.

I drove into town with one simple thought trying to drown out all the others that were crashing around like pin-balls in my head.

"There has got to be a hippo around here somewhere."

It was a futile attempt to calm the butterflies in my stomach. I even managed to hit one of the potholes on our stretch of road, and I do know exactly when and where to swerve to avoid them all. It would have been a fine time for a flat tire. I'm about due for one. It's been a few weeks.

Not only was I about to meet one of my best friends from inside my computer in real life... if she was, in fact, not a psycho serial killer (or a man!) I planned to drag her and her crew back to my farm for the rest of the day.

It's a funny thing. Meeting someone that you already know so well, but haven't actually met before. Someone who can recognize your kids at a glance, and greet you by name with a big hug. It may surprise you, but neither of us was too mentally unstable, and our day turned out to be entirely wonderful.

Why does it take someone visiting from far away to finally get us to a local attraction? This is real excitement, check out my kids' faces.


{they weren't ready to socialize yet}

The Bean has been calling buffalo "A moo feet!" ever since.

One of us (ahem) encouraged our adult child to sit on some playground equipment next to a sign that said something like "small children only please". It was a photo opportunity, of course. But shortly after that, the unthinkable happened.



I saw a Dad chasing his kid with an obnoxiously large (fabulous) L-series Canon lens. I shot him a knowing smile, since he was obviously a kindred spirit. But a few minutes later, my jaw dropped.

The dude was using his camera's pop-up flash with that very (very!) expensive lens. I whispered my disbelief in Colleen's direction. She peeked around the corner and confirmed it. Flash flash flash. Wrong wrong wrong.

We spent the next two minutes trying to get Colleen's pop-up flash to activate. In automatic mode. In the same lighting. Just to see if we could.

We failed.

If we had crossed paths with the ignorant photographer again, I fear I may have:
a. asked him how he liked the shadow that flash and huge lens cast across his pictures (truly people, it does)
b. mentioned that the thing he had attached to the middle of his lens was actually not a convenient handle, but a tripod mount
c. smacked him upside the head
d. wondered aloud what he was trying to compensate for
e. any combination of the above

Unfortunately Fortunately, we didn't see him again, so I had to be content with dramatically complaining about the shame of it all. Which I did. With flailing arms. At regular intervals throughout the rest of the day. It didn't make me feel any better, but I never gave up trying.

I'm over it now, because I've decided it must have been his wife's camera. Groan about it, dear reader, but it's the only scenario that makes any sense.

Anyway, after admitting that I had no knowledge of local hippos, we headed out for lunch. Thankfully I documented it with this poor excuse of a photo, because we got so busy chatting and laughing that we didn't take another of ourselves (together) the rest of the day.


{maybe I should have used my pop-up flash with my big lens}

Oh, wait. I don't have a pop-up flash.

They were adventurous enough to follow us out to the middle of nowhere, and we spent the afternoon laughing, bemoaning the fact that we live so far away from each other, watching our kids play with kittens and climb the woodpile and navigate the popcorn maze. A chick even pooped on one of Colleen's girls.

I had planned a simple meal at home, but it never crossed my mind what a gift that would be. Colleen and her crew had been on the road for nearly two weeks. After she said "Thank you" something like ten times, I finally understood what she meant.

After dinner we took our cameras out. Colleen has been dreaming of an upgrade, so I handed over my big camera. She has the skills to use it well. Except...



Except I may have forgotten that I have so many custom functions set on that thing, it might as well have been something off a NASA space shuttle. Silly, silly me.

Colleen, it was so fun having you all here. Saying "Goodbye" was painful, and I miss you and your beautiful family already!

When he's gotta go, he's gotta go

One of my favorite places in the whole world.

One of my favorite kids.



One of my favorite quotes from him while we were there:

"Mom, I think we have enough now. I gotta go ta the bafroom."




KinderGARDENS week 4

She took her own picture

Photographic Scavenger Hunt at Ashley's!

1. Classic Still Life

Classic, I don't know. Too bad it wasn't "bokeh bonanaza". The Lilac blooms aren't really flowering yet, so I focused just in front of the few that were.



2. Self Portrait

I did take a number of self portraits this week, some that I adore and some that are hilarious, but I have something way better for you.

Let me set the scene:

The day had been much too long and overstimulating, it was way past bedtime, the car ride was nowhere near over... I had exhausted every trick in my bag, including cycling through every ringtone on the phone. I was determined to keep her from going off the deep end. Finally in desperation, I handed her the remote, slapped my big camera into automatic and aimed it in her general direction.

What a mom won't do when the situation requires it...

She fired that thing like it was a machine gun.

And gleefully too.

May I present to you...

The Bean's very first self portraits:

(I swoon)







Her brother's expression pretty much sums up our entire day week.

3. On the Floor

No detail escapes her notice. And she won't stop noticing it until I notice that she noticed it. All you moms know exactly what I mean.



4. Lines

If The Bean's selfies didn't count for item number 2 above, well then, here you go. With a bunch of lines.



5. Fresh

One of you dear readers will notice immediately (you know who you are) that these aren't my tame domesticated baby asparagus. I scored them in my jungle of a swampy backyard, so I had every right to pick them.



One of you will be thrilled (ummm...you also know who you are) that I hid them from my family, so they won't be forced to endure I won't have to share the toe-nail clipping flavor amazing flavor of such a rare delicacy.

Facing Myself - December linky

Rarely, rarely do I ever shoot blind without looking through my lens. Well, I guess I do it sometimes on a tripod after setting everything up, but hand-holding it just feels a little more wild and out of control. It makes me look like I'm letting the camera choose all the settings, but believe me, I never ever allow it to do that. Exactly where the focus would land was the only thing up for debate.

We were visiting a Great Grandpa. It was late because someone had accidentally locked the keys in the car earlier that afternoon. Our schedule had been reorganized.

The little Bean was tired.

She was done being entertained by the little birds (whatever kind they were), and was unimpressed with the Golden Retriever. She stole her brother's shoes and ran off down the hall of the Care Center. Being restrained in my arms was barely tolerable. Barely.

She was getting loud and obnoxious. More than usual. To be perfectly honest, I'm certain I had also been a pain in the rear all day myself.

And then?

We found this amazing mirror (something about circles gets me every time). And I got a oops shot that I adore. I cannot throw it away.



Have you ever seen a missed focus that was so perfect?

The photo that I intended to get, I would toss it. I swear I would, if the Bean were any less adorable, or if I were any more of a dork. It's a close call really.

But I think...



I think I'll probably keep this one too.

The linky is open for the rest of the month. Rules HERE. Have fun!

It felt like home

We were in the big city, and it felt like home.



Winter was blowing around our car, a bit of melted ice framed the view out the front windshield, but we were warm and cozy inside. Low clouds softly bounced the city lights all around.



Early winter. The chill. Soft lights. Being cozy. It felt like home.

Worldwide Photo Walk

Saturday I took part in the Scott Kelby Worldwide Photo Walk.

Honestly, I was a bit nervous as I drove there, but I've been working hard on my courage. I've taken my camera to the grocery store, not only once, but twice. I no longer care, at all, what people think when I grab my faithful camera and jump up on a chair, or lie flat on the ground to get the shot. And that is a really huge achievement for me. Perhaps it also means I'm old? I've practiced (I have a very large trash can), and learned (and still have so much more to learn). But as I stepped out of my car after the nearly two hour drive, I put my chin up and grinned, because I knew I could knock that photographic ball out of the park.

At least, I was going to try.

The Photo Walk turned out to be a very good thing. I met some fun people, got my shoes soaking wet, took some pictures... but the very best thing? I spent nearly an entire day off on an adventure that was all my own.

It was refreshing. It was exactly what I needed.

Here are some of my favorite photographs from the walk. I need to submit one for judging. I'm almost sure which one it will be.

Go ahead and confuse me. Which one do you like best, and why?







This one lends itself well to black & white. Lots of contrast.



I'm loving the texture of the out of focus fence in the background on this one.



And this... is just so very dreamy.







And yes, yes I am obsessed with shallow depth of field, thankyouverymuch.

Perfect water

One week ago, we were at the BIG lake, and having an awful lot of fun!



All three of my boys love tubing, but it was the littlest one that would have been happy to ride that thing non-stop the entire day.



Apparently the Milkweed Longhorn beetles were having a great time too, and I suppose I should apologize for putting them on the blog. Not sure what came over me. They were pretty. Yeah, that's it. And I've never used a telephoto lens as a macro before. It was novel.

Okay...

The sun was hot out on our friends' boat, perfectly bright and hot. We stopped to play in the water. The boys sat with just their feet in, and so did I.

It was enough for us.



But it was our fearless nutty Bean that went for a dip there with her Daddy, in the deep deep water.



The sun was so bright I couldn't see the display on the back of my camera. I shoot with my histogram up so I can check my exposure occasionally. Shooting blind like I was, I was sure of only one thing in this world and that was that as a photographer, "I suck!".

It was the icing on my day's cake when we got back to our tent and I saw that I had actually nailed my exposure on almost every single shot. Being fully aware that I am my worse critic, I was thrilled with what I got.

I also learned to trust my spf 50 sunblock.

Honestly, could that water not be more perfect?


{being fearless and loving to splash is a great combination}

I cooked my toes on the sunshine-heated boat seats to get this shot. It was totally worth it.



That's my self-portrait for the week. The proof that I was there.

(I was pleasantly surprised to find that my husband did actually take some pictures of me and my littlest boy riding on the tube. I had no clue because he took my glasses away. Because if they end up at the bottom of a lake then I am in some serious trouble.)

Anyone else posting a self-portrait is welcome to share on non-linky weeks by adding your url to the comments below.

A black eye and a strapless dress

I had a wild and crazy week.

My grandpa thought I'd been a blogger missing-in-action because I'd been busy gardening. Not so much. We've had something like five inches of rain in the last week. I now officially have a swamp. Maybe I should look into growing rice.

It was Vacation Bible School week at our church. I was put in charge of crafts by a dear friend who has an unwavering faith in the impossible, and obviously believes I have the ability to successfully multitask.

There is just nothing like showing a group of children how to assemble a "bopper popper" (which consists of two cardboard tubes, two rubber bands, a string and a ball), and attempting to explain how it relates to their lesson for the day... while balancing a way-beyond-naptime year-old babe on my hip, her blankie over my shoulder, and doing my best to keep from being knocked completely over by a hysterical five-year-old with a black eye.

Yes, the black eye was a direct result of a game the first day of VBS.


Church events are an awful lot of fun, just look a that face! You know he had a great time.

I felt a teensy bit guilty for escaping VBS half-way through the week.

But I had to load up a few bags and my kiddos, and hit the road. You see, my cousin was getting married. Outside. On a pasture that was so authentic it was best to pay close attention to where you stepped.


Beyond the cow poop which may or may not have been attached to the bottom of my sandals, I also quickly learned to pay very close attention to something else.

I sat down. And so did the top of my strapless dress.

Apparently I don't have much to hold it up.

Not to worry!

It was fifty-five degrees out and windy. Naturally, since it was still hours before the wedding, I had a sweatshirt over my dress. Classy, I know, but darn lucky too.

I was saved by my sweats.

And the way it turned out, it didn't matter what anyone (except the wedding party) had chosen to wear. In the last hour before the ceremony began, a light mist turned to rain, and the wind continued to blow. Guests were wearing whatever jackets, sweatshirts, hats and blankets we could scrounge up from our vehicles.

We wiped off our wet seats, shivered, and laughed while we got soaked and witnessed a wedding to remember.

As the ceremony began, the groomsmen handed their jackets over to the shivering bridesmaids, who in turn gave the men their flowers to hold. We listened to a guitar held under umbrellas. I watched the photographers do magic with cold fingers while trying to keep their Canon 5D Mark II cameras dry.

The bride and groom laughed.

It was completely insane.

It was awesome and uniquely their day.

A boy's wish

I heard a sweet little boy voice from the back seat of our car.

"I want to buy that huge one for Daddy."


"I want to buy that really huge one for Daddy. For his truck and his tractor."

Right.

It was bigger than our car.

That little boy understands what a Daddy needs.

Christmas program

This one is mine.


We practiced saying "Welcome everybody!", and he knew what he was supposed to do. He said it at home. He said it in the car. He said it at our Wednesday night practice.

But this one has a mind of his own. Oh boy, does he ever.

Perhaps we never had a chance, you see, the other side of his card actually said, "Welome".

He walked right up to the microphone, giggled, put on his very best smile... then grabbed himself and spoke in some strange alien tongue. Twice, because the lady in charge gave him a chance to try again.

Then he sat down, very adorable. But it didn't last long.

Going... going...


Flopping around like a desperate fish.


I was so proud.

(I retrieved him shortly after taking that photo, and he screamed at me. He knew exactly what he was doing.)

This one is also mine.


Last year the only way he would go on stage was attached to my leg, like superglue. And his younger brother said his line for him. Yes, the younger brother who did a dying fish impersonation this year.

Look at him now.

I was so proud.

He stood with the other children and said his line.


He understands the concept of reading, even though he doesn't yet read. He knew his line was written on that blue card. I love how he kept the card in his hand, examining it constantly, and "read" it perfectly.

What a difference a year makes.

Check tire pressure

We had an eventful morning. Sort of. It could have been worse.

It could have been forty below zero, and I could have had my eight kids with me instead of the three that I do have. Although, it's not likely to be forty below in September, and I can assure you I am NOT having eight kids.

I was minding my own business driving my five-year-old to preschool.

Suddenly the car told me to check the tire pressure. My car does that.



I'm finally almost comfortable with the fact that I drive a Cadillac.



HEY! It was cheaper than a minivan! All I wanted was a car that would fit three kid carseats and have a light in the trunk!!! So leave me alone, OK!???

(cough)

When my car tells me to check the tire pressure, I don't use a tire gauge.

From my luxurious, leather, Cadillac seat I pushed a button. Left front 33 psi. Right front 33 psi. Left rear 32 psi. Right rear 16 psi. Uh oh. I let off the gas, and wondered if we would make it 4 miles more to school. Right rear 12 psi. I started braking. I had enough time to say, "Well, kids, we get to change a tire!" Right rear 0 psi. Whomp, whomp, whomp.

It's been a loooooong time since I changed a tire.

I don't know how to get the rims off the car.



Now how did I manage to blow a hole like that in my tire (two holes, actually) without even knowing I hit anything?

So I got started.

The jack looked simple enough. Now, where to put it. The car has these fancy silvery things along the frame. So maybe the real frame is behind that? I'm looking and feeling my muddy car. I found a spot that seemed nice, then changed my mind.

Distracted, like always, I decided that we were (no question) far enough away from the road to let the boys out of the car. They wanted to watch.

"Boys, this is called a jack", as if I know what I'm doing.

They already know what a jack is. This is likely the tiniest one they have ever seen.

I look at them. I wish I had a picture of them standing side by side, motionless, staring at me. They had expressions that seemed to say, "Yes Mom, that is a jack, but do you know how to use it?"

I don't have a picture, because that would mean I remembered the cell phone, which might possibly also have been a bit helpful.

A very lucky thing happened next. I realized the word "JACK" and an arrow, were imprinted on the bottom of the silver stuff under the frame of the car. Hiding under some mud. Of course.

Shouldn't a Cadillac change it's own flat tire?

I got the car jacked up, and felt pretty confident that I had the whole thing under control. Aside from wondering how to get the rim off. One step at a time here.

That was when the black SUV drove past.

I briefly wondered if I looked pitiful with my two little boys standing there watching me.

I certainly didn't need to be rescued. I am superwoman.

The black SUV came back.

I must have looked completely incompetent.

I don't have a picture of the kind men who finished the job. Because, you know, that would mean I had my phone.

And the rim? It comes apart. I found out there's a tiny little spot to pry off the middle. The part that is called the hubcap. Imagine that. It pops right off ever so nicely.

I called my husband after we got back home, and left a message saying, "I had a flat this morning. Do you want me driving on it or are you going to pick him up this afternoon?"

I hung up, and immediately realized how silly that sounded.

I called back and left another message, "I mean, do you want me driving on the spare. I did not drive on the flat."

Because I am not THAT incompetent.