Favorites of 2012

You know those two roads that diverged in a yellow wood?

It's true.

The one less traveled by has made all the difference.



The Battle

Featured in the "Why it Works" section of the January 2013 issue of CLICK magazine.


Captive

Yes, I am that Mom that rescues a turtle off the highway and tosses it in my son's lap while he squeals like a little girl.


Waiting

My beautiful baby sister and her belly!


Left Behind: First Day of School

Featured on Clickin' Moms blog and facebook wall


Enough Helpers?



Curiosity



What Remains

Featured on Clickin' Moms blog
Best of Show at our local County Fair


Summer Bliss



Childhood Memory



Epic Quest



Solstice

When selfies go bad

When Christmas-is-almost-here weather does not feel like Christmas is almost here...



When blazing direct sunlight fires the remote shutter release camera's timer randomly...



When I'm confused because my camera seems demon possessed...



When helpers are very... ummm, helpful...



When I realize a gigantic bruise on my thigh is just a bit sore...



When one second per frame on an animated gif doesn't render (or whatever the correct term is) properly...



That, my friends, is when selfies go very very bad.

A nut driver

This flat tire? It wasn't on my car.



Not merely hours after the man of the farm got into an airplane and flew off across the country. But it's no big deal, you know, because someone had the foresight to purchase a certain tool thingie... because the last three times our roads-which-are-in-perfect-condition (cough, cough) gave me a flat, it wasn't me who couldn't get the tire off the car.

And to quote The Bean, "It's tooooo tight!"

These boys of mine are just old enough to be dangerous.

"Just back the car up to the shop, Mom."

They thought they had it all under control.

"We'll just turn on the air compressor and use Daddy's nut driver."

I snorted.

"Daddy's what?"

Try not to laugh, people. It gets worse.

I knew that tool was in my trunk for this precise moment so I told the boys that, no, I was the one who had it all under control. After all, I am the mom. Then I opened the little black plastic tool case in the trunk and both boys gasped and jumped and squealed, "A NUT DRIVER!".

*angels singing*



Really.

Except it was a piece of JUNK!

"Don't say dat Mommy"



"Girl, where are your hair clips?"

Maybe it was a cheap piece of junk. Maybe I didn't know how to use it. Maybe I don't know how to do my little girl's hair. Maybe some weird you-get-what-you-pay-for combination of them all. But I'll tell you what... when somebody needs cupcakes to celebrate his birthday at preschool the very next day, and a horrid lapse in kitchen ingredient inventory caused by a thyroid medication mishap (that I really don't want to discuss) means that I haven't got a single drop of vegetable oil in my cupboards or butter in my fridge...

It is not ME who will find a way.



I am a nut driver. Yes I am. Thankyouverymuch.

(and it is also not me who's very third post on this blog was about a flat tire)

It's easier with a remote

While I was running back and forth through the alfalfa, tripping over kittens and nicely (or not) asking the dog to get out of my way, attempting to do this:


{featured on Shutter Sisters}

Unknown to me... my brand spankin' new two dollar and sixty-six cent camera remote was waiting patiently in my mailbox. Two of them, actually. I hate to consider any cheap plastic from China a disposable item, but, well... I lost my first one months ago and I have sorely missed it. So I ordered two.

Since the first one never turned up in the washing machine, I'm assuming it went through the lawn mower.

Wanna know how much shipping cost? For my two tiny $2.66 items which came to a whopping $5.32 subtotal?

It's partly why I ordered two, you know. If I'm going to pay shipping on one miserably small purchase, I might as well double what I'm getting. I'm right, yes? Right?

In my best Chinese accent: one dollar (you have to say it really fast)

I know. I could hardly believe it either. Good thing I ordered two!

But wait, it gets better! Allow me the pleasure of reading a bit of the user manual to you:

"Use this remote to picture yourself, picture your family union. No body is missed."

Oh! But wait! Wait! It gets even better!

The dumb thing isn't even supposed to work with my camera.

Continuing to count

12. October days that feel as though summer might just stay forever and ever.
13. Bare feet on warm gravel.



14. A brand new fiber optic cable buried along our driveway.
15. The sweet smell of ripening melons on our back porch.



16. That delicious moment when the complex subject I've been studying starts to seem ridiculously simple.
17. Little cats with more than nine lives.



18. A diagnosis from Canon that the focus was indeed operating improperly on my big camera.
19. Repairs being fully covered by that one year warranty. Amen.



20. Being encouraged to continue with self portraiture by friends who declare their self portraits are inspired by mine... such a beautiful humbling circle.



Also linking up with Selfie Magic

My little melons

Some of you have been asking about my tiny little melons. I need to say this: It feels kind of awkward and strange. I mean, do I really need to put my melons out there on public display?



Okay. So the truth is, objects may be smaller than they appear in that picture. And a little lopsided. And maybe I started to worry after my blogging friends (one after another) privately confided in me that they weren't at all satisfied with how their own little melons turned out.

These ones were developed in Minnesota. Literally, not figuratively. Minnesota is close by. Pretty close by. So I thought we should be good.

Still, I prepared the kids for the likely scenario that instead of juicy goodness, poo and filth might ooze out of them once we finally whacked one open.

If there is one thing from the garden I've been waiting for and dreaming of... One thing. Yeah, this would be it.

Hmmm...



Smells good enough.

But how would it taste?

I saved the seeds just in case we would want to plant acres and acres of them.



See. I told you they were small.

Being the sacrificial giving mother that I am, I signed myself up for the first taste. To save my kids. In case the melons were poisonous. Because that was a real possibility, you know.

Ready.

Set.

Go!



Ding! Ding! Ding! We HAVE a winner, folks!

The man of the house, the one who runs the tiller, and complains that I always plant everything way too close together, he had one suggestion:

"Maybe we should till up that whole area of alfalfa next year and grow melons instead"

He likes my melons.

The chickens got the peeling, and they agreed.



After that, I'm almost ready to declare the entire pathetic garden a roaring success this year. Almost.

Linking up with:
KinderGARDENS - almost done (the linky seems to have gone missing)
Selfie Magic

Goodbye green

It was as destructive as it was beautiful.



That second night took just about everything, even most of the poor pitiful pumpkin plant that was carefully tucked underneath a thick comforter. I'm guessing the corral hit at least 20 F, if not colder. Micro-climates and all, that's simply too cold.

We're more or less done with the growing. For this year.



Now it officially looks like autumn. Tomorrow I'll gladly admit that this is, truly, the most fantastic time of year.

The colors. The light. I'll love it. Tomorrow.

But right now, I'd like to have a moment of silence for my poor sad garden.



Or not?

*sigh*

The colors.



The late afternoon light.



The kinders don't seem too worried about the lack of green.

We've been busy:

a. Continuing to pick sweet corn. Er... popcorn. She'll figure it out someday. And no, it doesn't look like it will be mature enough to actually pop. But I could be wrong.





I'll spare you the picture where she spit it all over.

b. Swatting at the immature giants. They're now bending low to the earth.



c. Scrounging up a very few red tomatoes underneath 8 foot tall weeds, you know... before the chickens get them first.



KinderGARDENS - what week is it anyway? I'm pretty sure Kirsten is the only one keeping track at this point.

4th of July random

My multiple choice 4th of July post last year was an awful lot of fun to write. I entertained the thought of making it a tradition. I'm aware that the 4th was well over a week ago. Don't worry, I won't let that stop me.

If you can't handle a heap of random awesomeness, run far and fast.

Drumroll please...

Some of us fantasize about the lake all winter, and once again it didn't disappoint...
a. because the weather was perfect and our sunblock did it's job.
b. even though there was a dead cow floating around the bend.

c. because the boys took swimming lessons a few weeks ago, and although the instructor just tossed the hesitant kids into the water and let them bawl, our boys are now fish.
d. because we convinced the little brother it was okay to pee in the lake.
e. all of the above.

A camel cricket pooped on the little brother, which caused...

a. him to scream like a little girl.
b. his cousin to be a hero. (I laughed out loud at that ridiculous thought as I typed it)
c. it to escape.
d. his mother to... ummm, I've completely forgotten where I'm going with this.

How about that dead cow!

I took one picture in full automatic mode...
a. just to see what would happen.
b. to prove that I'm not a photo snot. Or, because I couldn't reach the focus button on the backside of my camera. Ah... ah... ah... Ah-chooo!

c. even though I knew it would need some hefty correcting before it was worthy to be processed to a jpg.
d. because my Bean moves at the speed of light, and it's a crying shame how few pictures I have of myself with her.
e. all of the above.

I managed to get myself out of kitchen duty by sticking my arm into the toilet, which was a direct result of...
a. The Bean.
b. simple physics.
c. the previous bathroom occupant not changing the toilet paper.
d. too much alcohol.

This picture is brought to you by...

a. my uncle telling me exactly where I should park my tripod for the best view, and me telling him I had other plans. (Hi Dave!)
b. a cactus that just happened to be precisely where I kneeled, which felt strangely familiar.
c. that darn flag mocking me to get this photo, all the live long day.
d. an eight second exposure.
e. all of the above.

Thirteen years

I counted three times just to be sure. It was thirteen years ago.

Thirteen years sounds like a long time, but it's not.



He wore his Marine Corps dress blues. I had daisies in my hair.

It was the best Monday morning ever.

I'd marry him again.

One of those dreams

Have you ever had one of those dreams where you find yourself in the middle of a field...

You accidentally kneel on a dragonfly.



And then you sit on a thistle.

You let your hair down for a few self portraits.

Then you step on two of your hair clips. This frustrates you immensely not because they're broken, but because it means you're leaving more than footprints behind. It's impossible to get all those little smashed bits of plastic out of the earth.

The next morning, your two year old Bean greets you with a look of horror while pointing at your face and squealing, "Mommy! Owie!"

Sure enough, you look in the mirror and find a wood tick attached to the side of your face. You think to yourself, "Really? On my face? Am I still dreaming?"

But you know how dreams go.



Sometimes they're weird, but perfect.



Sometimes you remember the details.



And sometimes you don't.